Clearly, I am Dreaming
One of these days, I'm going to wake up and think "Holy shit, what a horrible dream of working the best years of my life in that place. Must have been the chili."
"This stupid text is blue. I hate that, is there any way to change it?"
Solution: Discerned user was refering to the text in his e-mail. Inform user that there is in fact a way to change the color. Directed him to obscure, poorly named menu option called "Option". Noted that this must be an incredible coincidence. Successfully changed color; however, user informed me he wwas referring to the text color of the message he had already recieved. Informed user it was likely the e-mail writer was probably without someone as knowledgable as myself to help change thier text colors. Suggested he write e-mail detailing the steps he used to change his text color to Microsoft so that they could send everyone who uses Outlook a bulletin to remedy situation.
"I got this slide, and I got it to go up and down like I want, but it's all the way on the left now. I need it in the center, how do I do that?"
Solution: Conducted investigation into what "it" represented and determined the subject was again text. Showed user how to select objects in PowerPoint. Further demonstrated how to click and drag for fun and profit. Despite better judgement, showed user how to use align functions as well. User decided align was useful, best thing since Jesus. Abandoned centered text for left-aligned option. Informed user this was basically where they started. User informed me knowingly that it was ALMOST the same, but this text was now aligned.
Quick tip of the day:
It is easier to e-mail 5 files totaling under 3 MB to a distribution group than it is to burn 25 CDs with the same files and physically mail them to the same people; most sane people understand this. Management, however, does not, and will invariably pick the highest paid person in the room other than themselves to carry out this critical task. The lowest paid person in the room with nothing to do will, in turn, come over to the highest paid person and watch.
"This stupid text is blue. I hate that, is there any way to change it?"
Solution: Discerned user was refering to the text in his e-mail. Inform user that there is in fact a way to change the color. Directed him to obscure, poorly named menu option called "Option". Noted that this must be an incredible coincidence. Successfully changed color; however, user informed me he wwas referring to the text color of the message he had already recieved. Informed user it was likely the e-mail writer was probably without someone as knowledgable as myself to help change thier text colors. Suggested he write e-mail detailing the steps he used to change his text color to Microsoft so that they could send everyone who uses Outlook a bulletin to remedy situation.
"I got this slide, and I got it to go up and down like I want, but it's all the way on the left now. I need it in the center, how do I do that?"
Solution: Conducted investigation into what "it" represented and determined the subject was again text. Showed user how to select objects in PowerPoint. Further demonstrated how to click and drag for fun and profit. Despite better judgement, showed user how to use align functions as well. User decided align was useful, best thing since Jesus. Abandoned centered text for left-aligned option. Informed user this was basically where they started. User informed me knowingly that it was ALMOST the same, but this text was now aligned.
Quick tip of the day:
It is easier to e-mail 5 files totaling under 3 MB to a distribution group than it is to burn 25 CDs with the same files and physically mail them to the same people; most sane people understand this. Management, however, does not, and will invariably pick the highest paid person in the room other than themselves to carry out this critical task. The lowest paid person in the room with nothing to do will, in turn, come over to the highest paid person and watch.
posted by Clueless Dad at
4:24 PM
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