Back to Hell

Well, I'm back....as expected, lots of stupidity was anxiously awaiting my return. But for once, I will be kind and only post the best one of the bunch.

"Why don't you check your e-mail at home?"
Solution: Finally, an easy one. Informed user that a) it's technologically impossible due to new security measures, and b) I'm not paid nearly enough to do so at any rate. Walked away with noticable smirk.

EDIT: One more, right before I was leaving...

"Can you get into this site?"
Solution: Attempted to access site. Recieved an error, which was clearly from the remote server. Informed user that there was a problem on the server end (in Florida), and there is nothing we can do about it. Follow-up question: "Well, can *name removed* get in?" Repeated this was a server problem, and that if I couldn't access the server no one could. User insisted 4 other co-workers try, and finally angrily demanded to know what was wrong with the server. Follow-up solution: Used GoogleMaps to show user where, exaclty, Florida is. Turn out it's nowhere near me, remarked that eyesight too weak to see problem from here.